July 2009
20 posts
I’ve seen you in pixels. Compressed into two dimensions. Translated into pure energy. Appearing on my screen. I’ve looked through your photos again and again. Read and reread the text you typed. Watched and replayed your moving image in my head too many times to count. You are a virtual boy. Maybe you exist outside my imagination, outside of these symbolic gestures I think you’ve...
June 2009
34 posts
I thought I caught a glimpse of you in the dark last night. The place was crowded, your kind of people. Faces that seemed familiar but I did not know.
The boy in the white t-shirt reminded me of you. The glasses and the build and the way I thought I saw him looking at me. I wanted him to look, I almost started a conversation, but mostly I had a strong urge to walk over to him and run my hands...
Lick this pussy clean. I hold you responsible for the wet mess I’m in. I blame your eyes and your hands. I blame the way your torso connects to your hips. I blame your cock, pressing up against me on the bus ride through your dark denim jeans. You’ve created a situation here. Attend to it please.
Ms. Frankenstein
You are my creation. I have cobbled you together from bits and pieces found in my mind. Lovers and friends and photographs and strangers and movie scenes and childhood memories. I have picked and chosen your shape, your form, your nature. a process that while largely unconscious I am largely conscious of. Samples and snapshots repurposed and combined. I will animate you. Living inside me, the...
I just want to sleep but I know that in the quiet of my bed my head will fill with thoughts of you. Not that they aren’t there already, but I have hidden them, put them in the back row where they don’t stand out as much, don’t attract so much attention. I’m fearful of the silence, the emptiness, the way my carefully constructed distractions drift away and leave me alone...
the morning after
I spotted my panties on your dresser before I left, but I didn’t take them with me.
I get home dead tired. My clothes start coming off once the door closes behind me, and form a trail leading to the bed. Finally naked I crawl into bed next to your sleeping body, head heavy on the pillow. Sleepy and confused and eyes fluttering open, you’re kissing me. And I’m kissing you, before I even wake up. You’re on top of me, straddling me, with the covers draped...
cutlery
Pressed up against me like a living wall of flesh I match you breath with mine. The heat of your naked body is almost uncomfortable but I nestle into it, adapting. Our legs are all tangled up and your feet are cold. Mine are too. When you empty you lungs the steady stream of air tickles my shoulder. I don’t flinch, or if I do it pulls me into you instead of pushing me away. I love you. You...
I want to dance for you. Move for you. Put on the music and shed my awkward skin. Let it wash over me.
Shimmying my hips and pursing my lips and hitting the beat. Slow and languid with the melodic tones running down my slithering torso and dripping off my fingers. Flashing you my eyes and then a smile before retreating inward again. Or retreating outward.
The dance floor or the kitchen or the...
Do you know that spot under the stairs? Between the water heater and the furnace and the bathroom? I do. And it knows me. Very well.
insatiable
I’ve spent whole days talking to you without ever seeing you. I am insatiable. I want everything about you any and every way I can get it. I want to know your thoughts and opinions and feelings and assumptions and fantasies and biases and secrets and faults and desires. I want to touch you. Everywhere. I want to kiss you and never stop. I want to kiss you and only stop because I want to suck...
Mango juice running down my hands, my face, my breasts, my thighs, your arms, your chest, your mouth, your side. All sticky sweet. We will lick it up.
process
Laying alone in bed at night it doesn’t take long for thoughts to come rushing into my head. Then I’m putting pencil to paper, scrawling out words slower than I’m thinking them, trying to keep up. then suddenly an image I can’t quite describe. Searching for the the perfect word. Finding the best I can and continuing on until my mind is more tired than full.
In the daylight...
First Kiss
I have never seen grass as green as the emerald lawn beneath you in the park that June afternoon. I don’t think I’ve ever had a kiss like our first one. Your eyes had a sparkle, and your lips were soft when I leant down to touch them with mine. And our tongues, soft and firm and so naturally exploring and playing with and teasing each other. I know it’s been years and my memory...
shampoo conditioner perfume barrettes clothes pegs hat form Barbie candle ice cubes popsicle lolipop banana spoon vibrator condoms dildo strap-on mop . . .
I'm still sorry
Sucking on your fingers on the 99 B-Line. Oblivious to those around us. Your eyes closed, covered, the sensations around you heightened. The bodies, damp from the rain, with their warmth and sounds and smells. Your hand in mine. Your fingers in my mouth. You were in the palm of my hand, vulnerable and trusting and loving me.
Suddenly confusion at the bus stop. The crowd dense, my hand left...
push me over the edge
Will you be that sex machine I always dreamed of?
sex ed
The talks and books are useful, yes, but only to a point. I mean I knew that penises went in vaginas, and sperm fertilized the egg, and sometimes there’d be a baby. I knew that boys would grow facial hair and have erections and wet dreams and girls would get their periods. Some boys would have foreskin and some wouldn’t. We’d all start growing hair down there. Thrilling stuff...
study break
I only took one pant leg off when I fucked you up against that classroom wall. It was probably good since the door didn’t lock. When we heard it opening we scrambled to put ourselves together. His face said he knew exactly what had been going on.
remedial lessons
I thought I knew what I was doing. Or, at least, I thought I’d learned a thing or two. That I was proficient, damn good even. But when I held your cock in my hand it all deserted me. I was unsure, confidence gone, worried about disappointing you, or maybe myself.
A dick is a dick right? Nuances certainly but the broad strokes still apply. No need to be nervous or shy. No need to doubt...
home alone
I could see myself in the mirror. See the thick purple dildo, a poor substitute, disappearing over and over between my pussy lips. My nipples hurt all the next day I twisted them so hard. It was worth it, not to watch but to see how I looked being watched. I would have sent you a picture if I could. I was moving for your eyes, absent though they were.
I love thrusting into that ass of yours. When you’re on top of me, sitting on my hips I sometimes grab your cock and stroke it like it’s my own. Thrusting up into you I can almost feel my hand running over your taut skin, grasping. Sometimes I bend you over a counter, or press you up against a wall. Exploring you from behind, my palms make a rough assessment of your body. I settle my...
sex in a tent
Our own little world. Light and shadows playing off the walls. I had to keep reminding myself they were only cloth. Trying to muffle the soundtrack to the shadow puppet porn I’m sure they all could see.
Little girls touching each other in ways litte boys weren’t allowed. Being trusted with children. Being trusted by children. Power over those who couldn’t give it to you yet. You were only a child yourself, so not a monster.
Do they think about those days? And how? Fondly? Angrily? With confusion and bitterness? You wonder when you run into each other years later. Grown now. Silent.
...
claim me
Shave my pussy, not because I want it shaved but because I want you to shave it.
Put your mark on me and make me yours. Your teeth and your nails and your palm and this razor.
When I touch myself I want a piece of you here reminding me: He did this. He owns this. You gave this to him. And I’ll smile and moan and close my eyes. Looking forward to the next time.
We said it the first time as a joke. Well we said it was a joke, and to you it probably was. You hadn’t spent the hours reading and rereading those dirty magazines. Yours had been pictures while mine were stories. Typical. That time when we’d finished, and you really needed to piss but were totally spent from fucking me. You’d just go on me right here in the bed, we joked. I...
sex on the brain
You make me feel like a little girl again. The one who thought about sex more than those who’d had it. The inappropriate thoughts and actions returning.
I was kinky before I knew what kinky was. I crossed boundaries I hadn’t set for myself yet.
Playing with Barbies long after the other girls outgrew them. Sexualizing her long before anyone else.
Do you remember that time I was on top of you, fucking you, and it was so beautiful I started to cry? I do. I’ll never forget.
old secrets
There are things that I want to tell you. There are secrets smoldering inside me. Old secrets. Of things I’ve thought, and of things I’ve done. Some of them are not secrets I keep alone. I want to let you in on them. Some of them. Maybe open some new ones up to be shared. Or invite you to share the ones I’ve already spoken aloud. I want you to like me. But I need you to know me...
wreck beach afternoon
And you were lying there between us. Her body and mine still slick with the salty water. You turned and I brushed the dry sand from your back. Grains sticking to my palms and breasts. I could just make out the tattoo running up her side, her lovely side. Her body all legs and skin and flecks of sand. Skin you know so well. She turned from us and I caught your eye. The longing glance between us. I...
just a ghost, watching
Is it wrong, that I wonder what she looks like moving under you? The ripple of her body as you thrust into her, the movement of her hair, the catch in her breath. I want to know how you look at her. Is it the same way you look at me? The thought of your eyes on me, your eyes on her, excites me. A sly look perhaps, a curious one, no: fascinated. You are enraptured by the way we move, our smells,...
park inappropriate
That afternoon in the park on the grass under the tree basking in the dappled sunlight I wanted to climb under your skin. The blue lace and mesh I wore was so wet I was sure you could smell me and I didn’t care.
I have bruises and I don’t remember why.
I like to think they’re from you.
Lord Stanley
Bark under me, and your hands tugging down, urging my pants lower. You spread my thighs open and licked me hungrily. You slid a finger inside of me, and then another. I was keeping very quiet, wary of the man on the path, and you asked me if I wanted more. Yes. How much more? How much could I take? I just looked at you, I didn’t know, but I wanted to find out. You smiled and licked your...
first date
him: tell me how you'd like to suck me off?
(sorry I'm a little single minded right now)
me: single-mindedness is acceptable
him: you can start with how we'd meet
me: hmmm... many possibilities here...
him: partly so you get ideas we can follow through with
me: I am NEVER lacking in ideas
him: :D
me: some are more practical than others
but I am highly creative
him: xxx
me: I'm having trouble picking a direction to be honest, I have a lot of possibilities floating around
this is less practical, but hot of course...
him: something you feel comfortable/safe/realistic doing
or not ;)
me: hehe
well I could go realistic
or I could go plausible but not likely to happen off the bat
him: tell me what you want. what would be a great way to meet me
me: ok, for realz:
we'll meet at budgies and get burritos
and take them to eat in a park
you'll have to walk your bike 'cause I won't have one with me
we can sit under a tree in the dappled sunlight
I'll probably be all smiley and a little blushy
and we'll flirt while we eat our food
you might look at me and I'll get a hot rush and feel uncomfortable, but in a lovely way
and I'll probably edge closer to you throughout our conversation
by the time food is done I think we'll be sitting very close
I'll want to touch you
run my hand down your arm
or rest it on your thigh
if I'm feeling bold I'll play with your hair a little
run my fingers through it, and scratch the back of your neck
then lean in close and give you a sot kiss on the neck
right by your ear
maybe carry on to kiss your earlobe
then come around to look at you
I'll probably want to kiss you again
though I might be a little shy
I'm pretty bold these days though
so I think I'd pull myself into you with the hand on your neck and kiss you
him: (I'm loving this, you're very good at it)
me: I don't think you'd mind too much
me kissing you I mean
I think you'd probably be pretty responsive
my other hand would probably be running down your arm, then you side
perhaps resting on your hip
maybe taking you hand and guiding them to hold me too
I have a feeling things might get kinda "park inappropriate" pretty fast
what with me straddling you and pressing you back into the tree while we made out
my feet resting up against your knees in the grass
I can be fairly aggressive at times
especially if I'm enjoying myself
him: good
me: although on the other hand I do quite enjoy being the bottom
I'm a happy switch
him: we'll do both
me: we'll end up with a lot of grass on our clothes, from all that rolling around you know
and it's daylight still
and there's lots of people in the park
so we might need to take ourselves elsewhere
get up brush off our clothes, grab my bag and your bike and compose ourselves enough to walk a little
not the most effective way to travel, for sure
especially since I will keep resting a hand on your back
or looping my thumb through one of your belt loops
or leaning over to kiss you
but we'll manage
if only because we are determined
him: we could go deep into stanely park perhaps
me: we could
it's not really too cold these days
I don't have anywhere to bring you back to sadly
him: me either really
me: the perils of dating poly guys ;)
him: haha
true
if only my gf were bi
so into the woods it is
me: it seems so
we could walk through the park
along the twisting paths
taking whichever fork looked less travelled
then looking into the bush and seeing a promising clearing we might make our own path
far enough off the path that we couldn't really be seen
making us unlikely to be disturbed
the anticipation of that walk would catch up to me pretty quick
I'd probably start kissing you again as soon as you put down your bike
maybe even before
and I'd run my hands up under your shirt, against your skin
and you hand would be in my hair at my neck, holding my face close to yours
with you other hand cupping my ass and pulling me into you
in a little while I'd pull my self away and take a step or two back smiling at you
then I'd slowly take my shirt off over my head
him: mmmmm
me: you'd look at me kinda hungry
him: (you've got me throbbing right now)
me: I'd come back towards you and pull off you shirt, pressing my skin up against yours
and I don't know who would get there first but my bra would be unclasped pretty quick
I'd slide the straps off, and then lower the front slowly
tossing it aside in a pile in the dirt with my shirt and yours
I'd pull your head down to my chest, and you kneel so you could lick my nipples
cupping me with one hand, the other hand on my lower back
I'm come down to the ground and kiss you again
then I'd leave you sitting there while I stood up to undo my pants
unzipping them slowly
and working them over my hips
him: mmmmm
me: stepping out in just my underwear, and pushing you back on to the ground
I'd straddle you and lean in to kiss you again
starting to make a bit of a wet spot on your jeans
I'd prop myself up with one hand by your head
and run the other hand down your chest to your waist band
I’d slip on finger under your waistband up against your skin
and run it around from one hip to the other
pulling your pants away from you a bit, tugging on them
then I'd kiss down your neck
and your chest
stopping to suck on your nipples a little bit
working my way down to you hip bones
and I'd unbutton those jeans
unzipping them
and tugging them down
you'd lift up you hips and I'd pull them and your under wear down to your knees
then all the way off
and I'd slide my hands up your shins and thighs
him: I love how detailed you are :)
me: stopping at your hips and squeezing a bit
(no point with out details really)
and I'd kiss slowly down from your hipbone
along that little crease
getting tantalizingly close to your cock
but going around it and working my way to the other side
then I'd give you a little kiss
right where you shaft meet your sack
and run my tongue all the way from there to the very tip of your cock
wrapping my fingers around you near the base to start and licking and kissing all over the head.
and I'd look up at you as I drew the head of you cock into my mouth
him: mmmm I can't wait. I imagine that look as I jerk off to your pictures.
me: and I'd reach over and guide your hand to touch yourself
him: such pretty eyes
me: because I really love sucking a guy off while he jerks off
him: I love it
me: especially the first time
him: you just made me cum so hard
me: mmmm
happy to hear it