My phone autocorrects “moustache” to “moist ache.” I’m not sure how it knows how easily one leads to the other.

Today I have the place to myself. Toys laid out on the bed. Jingle Jams to cover the noise. Looking like a pretty good Sunday.

These days, I get off most often with the first two fingers of my left hand buried in my pussy, my left ring finger working into my ass, my left thumb pushing back my hood, my right hand directing the showerhead at my clit, and my legs spread wide, crouched and cramping.